


Offer Me Pain

by ComeChaos



Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: Durincest, Light Masochism, Light Sadism, M/M, Painplay, Slash, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2017-12-04 12:21:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComeChaos/pseuds/ComeChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili is afflicted with an awkwardly placed injury. Kili finds it his duty to treat it.</p>
<p>Based on a picture and its prompt, both of which can be viewed here: http://kaciart.tumblr.com/post/43083413784</p>
            </blockquote>





	Offer Me Pain

At the house of Elrond, everything was not only foreign to Kili's eyes, but also slightly too tall and slender for comfort. For the second time he stopped dead turning about, but Dwalin, perhaps mistaking his focused gaze for a speechless admiration of the sorrounding arcitecture, quickly got hold of the tip of his hood and gave him a fierce shove in the back, dragging him along with the rest of the company. Kili trudged forward defeated, yet in the next moment he was already ahead of the others. The sooner he were to arrive at his lodging, the sooner he would be able to turn around once more and try to spy his brother's flapping golden braids down the hallway from where they came. He reached the first door opening to the side and immediately pushed it open. The room was small, with two beds standing in the middle and a few other pieces of wooden furniture that didn't capture his interest right now. He crossed the doorstep and quickly posted himself in the opening, leaning out just enough to be able to peak down the corridor. The other dwarves passed by, some stern and hurried, some – like Bofur and Bombur – not that much in a hurry, having already dropped far behind Dwalin. There was no sight of Fili anywhere to be seen.

Kili's heart sank. And when he became aware of that, it sank a little further. They were supposed to be safe here, right? Well of course, Thorin had his doubts – no, they all had – but the thought of these elves being responsible for one dwarf missing when they were greeting the rest with food and providing them all with quarters just like that for a bit of rest before supper … No, that just didn't fit and that much Kili was certain of. And Fili had been with him when they escaped through the secret passage into the valley. They had stood beside each other as always when the company was greeted by Lord Elrond. Close enough for Kili to smell his brother's sullied hair and dirty sweat in the warm air. And beneath it, his scent, the scent of home. No, he was not worried about Fili, not really. His brother was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, even more so when he had probably just stayed behind with Thorin. Kili knew that. So, he admitted to himself, this had to be that other feeling. That empty gap of cold anxiety that opened inside of him for seemingly no reason whenever he was deprived of the sight and noises and smell of his clever and fierce yet loving and good-natured brother. Over the last few years he had grown used to it, but the pain in this stomach remained the same. As the younger of them two it was only expected of him to look up to his older brother, yet ever so slowly it had dawned on Kili that the true nature of his bond to Fili at some point had begun to extend beyond the innocence of kinship. Terrified he hid those feelings deep down in his heart, and it was in that moment that this dark fear had taken up an abode inside of him.

Suddenly a shadow entered the end of the hallway. Kili's head flung up as if he had been roused from sleep. A moment later the owner of the shadow went into sight and Kili felt himself sigh deeply in relief. Fili came toward him. He walked with ever so slight a limp, his bloody hand covering the inside of his left thigh. Kili felt his heartbeats start to drum in his ears again. How in the world had he been able to miss that his brother had been wounded?  
”What's wrong, brother?”  
”Ah, it's nothing, Kili. Just a little battle scar.”  
”No, let me see!”  
Fili smiled at his concerned younger brother and calmly allowed Kili to lead him into their quarters. As soon as he had closed the door, Kili took hold of the other's shoulders and pushed him down onto the bed. Without any further remarks he fell to his knees in front of him and firmly moved his hand away from the wound. Then he gasped and raised his head.  
”How did you get that?!”  
Fili's soothing gaze met his.  
”Complete, perfect clumsiness?” he suggested, and not even the most keen-sighted would have been able to tell that he was in pain, Kili thought.   
”Might as well've brushed against a rock” Fili continued, smirking.  
”No, no” Kili protested. ”This's a clean cut, and a deep one too! I need to do something about it.”  
Blurting out the last words, Kili rose up and took a little turn on the spot before discovering a tall, engraved can and a pile of soft, thin towels laid out beside it on a small table at the corner. He walked over to it and began to soak a few of the towels while spilling water all over the floor.  
”What took you so long?” he asked.  
”Gandalf wanted me to go see the elves” Fili informed him lightly. ”Told him we've always managed our little scrapes without some o' that kind o' folk meddling.”  
Kili sighed. He knew only too well what his brother was doing. He was trying to rid his younger brother of concern and at the same time attempt to stop him from starting to blame himself. It didn't work, Kili was afraid, but he said nothing. He knew that by bringing any of it up he would only start a war of guilt between them, where they would both be crying out about being the one who should protect the other until the words of ”dying together” were the only that would make them fall silent again, holding each other close in an utterly comfortless peace. Kili frowned, because he knew that it hadn't always been like that. Though maybe, he tried to reassure himself without success, it was all just a part of growing up. He brought the towels back to the bed och sat down on the floor with a thump. Resting his forehead sadly on Fili's knee for a moment, he steadied his breath and put his hands back on his brothers leg, caressing him through the layers of thick fabric.

Fili stared down at Kili in disbelief. Oh no, this was not happening. He and his younger brother had always tended to each others wounds, of course they had, but that definitely didn't mean that Kili could go just anywhere on him! Sometimes he really needed to think better before going along with his brother's ways of doing things. He blamed his still present shock from realising that he had taken a blow. For that matter, he could hardly blame Kili for not taking notice earlier, when he hadn't noticed it himself until all the running and falling was over and the sudden situation with the elves had settled down. He hadn't lied: if it wasn't for the perfectly straight and narrow shape of the cut he would have actually held one of those rocks responsible … Then he winced and was pulled out of his thoughts again by the tug of Kili's hands starting to work on his boot.  
”Hrm. I think I can take care of that myself, aye?” Fili managed to get out, his voice embarrassingly high pitched.  
Kili gav him a sincere look as he rose and began to undo his clothing. His brother kept his eyes fixed on his, but Fili didn't dare to meet them as he lowered his breeches and kicked them off as casually as I he could. At length he sunk back on the bed again, fingers trembling, and a not-so-subtle reddish tone had begun to spread over his face. He knew it all too well from the tingling in his cheeks. Why did he have to be the pale one? He almost never blushed, but when he did, it would show from a mile away in a pitch-black mine. When Kili blushed, which everyone had to admit happened a lot more often, he just looked spirited. Yes, spirited, and perhaps also frighteningly handsome. From that thought, Fili felt himself redden even more. How many times had he not tried to rid himself of such ideas? Just a fine mess he had made of this all. Yet now there he was, legs bare and his brother's rough hands travelling all over them, erasing the long trails of blood and – oh, have mercy – stopping at the inside of his thigh to clean out that wound. Fili's breath came out harder and he was grateful for the pain of the wound that dulled out some of this new sensation, and at the same time disappointed that the pain wasn't greater, because after a short while these feelings began to mingle and almost intensify each other. Oh, forgive him, but he wanted more. Kili looked up suddenly and met the hazed eyes of his crimson red brother, who had started panting and sweating.  
”That blade was venomous!” his deep voice cried out in alarm.  
Fili blinked.  
”Wait, what –”

He caught a sense of motion downward and the next thing he felt was Kili's soft lips touching his wounded flesh, head between his thighs. Fili panicked. Twitching violently he pulled his legs together, but when that action obviously did nothing but bring Kili's body so much closer to his aching skin he abruptly flung himself off the bed and sent the younger dwarf flying to the floor in a heap of dust and tangled hair. Before Kili had the time to collect himself, Fili had taken one long stride to the side and started pacing on what little space there was between the bed and the wall, almost having in his mind to leave the room when he remembered where he was. At the mercy of elves. A few moments later it also struck him that he wasn't quite properly dressed for giving a good explanation of himself to any dwarf either, and also that the warm wetness mingled with the feeling of pain was blood trickling down his leg again. This was it, then. He stopped, turned around and looked back at Kili, his breath still caught in his throat. Utter silence fell for a moment. Fili knew, with guilt, that his brother's frown was a perfect mirror of his own. Deep confusion shone in his brown eyes as Kili fixed them on Fili.  
”What are you doing? I need to suck that venom out of you. I need to do it now!”  
”Kili!”   
In contrast to the sharpness in his voice Fili suddenly had to stop himself from breaking out in a desperate laughter.   
”I am not poisoned. I'm alright. Right as rain. See? Now get up now, will ya?”  
He turned stern again and took a step back to the bed toward his brother, silently commanding his own breathing to calm down and trying to look a lot more relaxed than he felt. Kili slowly got up from the floor, so that when he finally rose to his knees, Fili had just sat down again and they found themselves back where they had started, not in the least to Fili's relief. Kili silently handed him a towel. They looked at each other for another while under which the resignation in Kili's gaze rapidly resolved and changed into something pleading. Fili sighed and nodded. Whatever it was that had gotten into him, bringing up those thoughts and making him act like this, someone still had to take care of that wound.  
”Just go on. I'm sorry –”  
He stopped himself. He couldn't bring himself to say the word brother. Not now, not right after this. He took another deep breath and decided to hope for the best: that the pure physical pain to come would wash over him, drown this ungodly desire and sweep away with it. At least Kili would stop feeling hurt soon enough if allowed to help his older brother, Fili thought hazily.

Kili was still confused. He was confused and he was neither surprised nor blaming himself for being in that particular state. He wasn't surprised, because I knew that it was impossible for him to think straight when his palms were telling him about the small golden curls on the inside of Fili's thighs and what they felt like … He wasn't blaming himself, because Fili had just thrown him to the ground for making a simple mistake out of care for him, and since that wasn't like Fili at all it was quite natural for him to feel bewildered right now. Fili was the one who had been acting strangely all the time. Kili found that he was too confused to even feel wounded. Of course, had it been the other way around – him in Fili's place and Fili had touched him like that – but no. Duty called, and he must think no more about it. He did his best to force a smile.  
”It's alright, brother.”   
Kili reached among his luggage and pulled out a small, tightly sealed leather bag from which he produced the tools required. Fili sat silent on the bed. When Kili was ready he sought his brother's eyes and got a quick nod from him, but when he put the needle to Fili's skin for the first time the older dwarf flinched hard and almost recoiled. He has never done that before, Kili thought, with a mingling of compassion and discomfort. Slowly he brought his free hand up against the length of Fili's naked thigh, stroking him to console him, still unable to not savour every sensation it brought to his fingertips.  
”Shh” he said without even noticing it until the sound had already slipped from his lips.  
”Kili …” Fili began in a raspy voice and Kili could hear him swallow hard. ”Your care means a lot to me always, you know that. But there's really no need for you to do this. Any of the others can do it, or I can do it myself as well as anyone.”  
Kili looked up at him stubbornly.  
”But there is no reason for that. I'm the one who should be doing this. I'm your brother.”   
Pause.   
”Besides, you just asked me to go on.”  
Fili closed his eyes slowly and answered with a look of solemn agreement. Close as they were, and always had been, the twitch of an eyebrow would sometimes be enough to replace an entire sentence. Kili had often felt as if they were reading each others minds. But the truth was that ever since that dark feeling inside him had started to get hold, the open space between them was becoming more and more blurred. And right now, his brother's mind seemed to be guarded by walls impenetrable to him. He cleared his throat.  
”Brother?”  
”Aye.”  
Another raised eyebrow.  
”Um. Fili?”  
”Will ya please be done with that in time for supper?”  
Talking's over then, Kili thought. The words hurt, though if he were to be honest, they were mostly a relief. He hadn't had any idea anyway of what to say, had it turned out that Fili wanted to sort all this out. His older brother had never seemed so uncomfortable around him before. What had he done that had changed everything? Could Fili have understood …? Kili felt a sudden rush of terror seep into him.

By force of will he kept quiet and steadied Fili's leg against his chest as he continued pushing the thick needle through the edges of skin, putting him back together. He heard Fili struggling to keep his breath still and could feel the occasional tremors of the golden-haired dwarf multiply inside his own body, but he told his inner self to shut up and not think about those things. Still, after a while he could do anything but stop being deeply aware of what he was doing. He was inflicting his brother with pain and – he wanted it. Despite how hard he tried to fight it, Kili felt himself drawing aching pleasure from every moment of it. Inside his breeches he felt himself growing hard. He shook his head fiercely, sending dark locks swirling, and cast a glance upward at Fili, afraid but desperate to know the other's suffering also through the features of his strong face. It took him a moment to penetrate the mist of arousal that had fallen over his eyes to find the same haze shadowing those blue, confident ones that he had known since forever.  
”Kili …” Fili whispered.  
He felt himself being lifted by strong arms and so he was sitting astride on his brother's lap. Somewhere beneath him a needle was still dangling by its thread.  
”Fili! You shouldn't …”  
”Hush now.”  
Fili put his broad finger to Kili's lips. Kili closed his eyes and kissed it lightly.  
”We should do whatever we want” Fili concluded harshly.  
His hand left Kili's face and made its journey to the back of his head where it entangled itself firmly in his brown hair. Kili opened his eyes again and looked straight into Fili's and all he saw was pain and love and lust. Something moved in his chest – he almost felt like he was falling. He suddenly thought of himself as if all this time he'd had a fiery vein of mithril shining and pulsating inside him, scorching him day and night in its yearning to be freed, until now, maybe, at last –  
”I am going to mine you.”  
Fili smiled as Kili's eyes widened. Then his smirk was abruptly cut off as Kili pulled him in for a first, crushing kiss. Fili answered him hungrily, lips and teeth claiming and possessing. The dark-haired dwarf let out a quiet moan and gripped the other's golden braids, bringing them even closer together. The walls had fallen.

” I still need to close your wound” Kili mumbled softly when they stopped to breathe. ”Maybe …”  
He wasn't sure of how to continue, but Fili's voice was dark as a summer night.  
”I want this, Kili. I want you to offer me pain.”  
”I will” Kili then whispered fiercely back. ”I will hurt you, and when I'm done, I'll be your reward to take as you please.”  
At those words Fili let himself fall back on the bed with a ragged sigh and Kili moved off him. Parting the older dwarf's thighs once more, he had to stifle his own moans as he felt him trembling from arousal. The needle had fallen to the floor, but he found it quickly enough and was all ready to take up his task. However, he stopped right at it and rose again. Fili looked up at him with deep interest, having somehow regained a little of his control.  
”Strip” Kili commanded. ”I want to see ya strip down to nothin'.”  
”Oh, but you've already seen me strip lots of times” came the teasing reply.  
Kili once again was a bit put back.  
”No” he finally managed to answer. ”No, not like this.”  
Fili rose painstakingly slow from the bed and stretched himself.  
”And you're quite right” he said smiling, moving his fingers up to the first leather lacing.

Kili could all but stare as Fili rid himself of clothing. His broad shoulders glistened in the warm light falling in from the small westward window. He kept that smile of his for the entire length of the show, making Kili sit down on the bed when he started to fear that his legs wouldn't hold him up any longer. He realised that he was rubbing his aching hardness through his own layers of clothing and when Fili noticed it, he laughing had him strip down as well. Unlike his playful brother, Kili threw off everything that he wore as fast as he could without tripping. At last they came together upon the now quite dirty elvish blanket and Fili stretched out on his back in all his glory as Kili crept down between his legs and, thinking better of it, started to softly tease him. Bending over, he licked the trails of sweat and blood from the inside of his thighs. He had never known that Fili tasted this amazing.  
”Oh, for pity's sake!”  
Fili groaned almost furiously. Kili gave him a broad grin, enjoying the feeling of being the one in control, though he soon decided that he had kept his lover waiting long enough. He pulled out the needle from where he had temporarily stored it, and so he finally started making the last stitches to close up the cut wound. During the waiting, and perhaps through arousal, the edges had begun to redden rapidly and the whole thing looked a lot uglier than when he had first examined it. Fili twisted in shock when the needle pierced the swollen surface. Kili kept his eyes close on the other dwarf's face, his brother, him that he knew almost as well as his own heart. In his tensed features, he saw nothing but pleasure. He watched as Fili moved his rough hand to his hard cock and started having his way with himself, sweat flowing down his rippling muscles. His own hardness was throbbing against the mattress, but he needed both his bloodstained hands to tend to Fili.  
”Kili!” Fili suddenly called, motioning with his arm.  
Kili looked at him puzzled.  
”Come here. No, not that way. Here, come …”  
At last Kili understood. His frown was replaced by a smile, which was replaced by blank amazement, which finally turned back into a smile as he settled his body against Fili's stout one. Strong arms covered with golden hair made him straddle that beautifully tortured face and then Fili's tongue was tasting his cock and fulfilling his own duty became oh, so much harder. Yet, the reward when he pushed the needle through for the last stitch and Fili's sobbing groans reverberated around his cock was more than he could take. Crying straight out – in no language known to mortal men – he shook violently and collapsed on top of Fili.

It took several long moments before he was able to speak again, and even then the first thing that he tried to utter came out as no more than an unintelligible mumble.  
”I'm sorry, what was that?” Fili asked him tauntingly, his breath just a little unsteady.  
Kili rolled off him and landed heavily on the bed, resting a little while during which Fili said nothing but only looked at him, gently stroking the dark curls on his stomach with his thumb. Then at last, Kili sat up and crawled over to the older dwarf. He looked deep into his blue eyes and repeated the words that he had been unable to pronounce earlier.  
”I want you to have me.”  
Fili's face remained solemn as he answered Kili's gaze.  
”I want you” he growled back.  
The next thing Kili knew he was thrown on his back and pushed down into the mattress by Fili's weight, hit across the face by swinging braids as his brother leaned in to devour his mouth with teeth and tongue. Despite Kili being distinctly taller, Fili was by far the stronger one. Not until he had left every corner of Kili's lips throbbing from his treatment did he move away and leave him room to breath. Still shaky, Kili watched the golden-haired dwarf get off the bed and pose himself beside it, one hand on his still hard cock and the other reaching for the dark lengths of the younger one's hair. Kili decided to resist him for the fun of it. He was immediately taken hold of and the sharp pain when Fili nearly ripped his hair out in dragging him into place only made him the more eager to taste him. The older dwarf panted hard. Soon Kili gave in to both their cravings and placed his swollen lips on the tip of his cock, passionately curving his tongue around the head, sliding further on down the shaft and drinking in all the sensations with Fili's desperate moans echoing in his head. Then Fili pulled hard on his hair and made him take him in. His vision grew blurred as his lover started thrusting and fucking his mouth until all that he was aware of was strong, salty skin and his own heartbeats – and a rising growl as Fili's climax built and he emptied himself inside Kili's wanting mouth.

They crashed down hard on the bed, faces close to each other, sharing the air that they breathed. Kili were the first one to open his eyes.  
”Fili, I …”  
”I know. You don't need to tell me anything. At first I thought it was just some foolish need of the body that had gotten into me. But it's not. I'm yours now, little brother. As I always was.”  
Kili allowed the words to sink in. He smiled in silent agreement.   
”I'm sorry” Fili added softly, his eyes drifting away from Kili's and down into the spoiled blankets. ”I've truly been blind, haven't I?”  
”Don't be” Kili mouthed, leaving the question hanging in all its lack of importance right now.  
They lay beside each other for another moment, braiding their fingers together. Then Fili raised his left leg and looked down at his thigh. The corners of his mouth curled up.  
”Kili. That's the worst piece o' craftsmanship I've ever seen in my entire life.”  
Suddenly Kili found that they were sharing a laughter from the bottom of their hearts, like the tension of years had finally been lifted from them and had been swept away by the rich, flowing river down below outside the window. And for the first time in all those years, Kili remembered what it felt like to be fearless.

**Author's Note:**

> Last edits made 17th Februari 2013.


End file.
